Put the Good Stuff Last

What's wrong with this sentence I found in a recent issue of The Vancouver Sun?

When Adam Saint's year-long lease was nearing its end, the West End building's owner Gordon Nelson Inc. jumped the price to $1,850 from $1,550.

I can think several ways I would improve it, but here's the point I want to make in this post–and what I've read in some writing books, which I agree with:  Put the good stuff last.

When we revise our sentences, sometimes, to ensure we make the points we intend to, we need to look at a sentence, decide what's most important, and put it at the very end.

In the case of the above example, it seems to me the most important piece is what Adam Saint's rent increased to.  So rather than put that detail second to the last in the sentence, it should go at the end, like this (along with a few more changes):

When Adam Saint's year-long lease neared its end, the West End building's

owner Gordon Nelson Inc. jumped the price from $1,550 to $1,850.

Now, when you read that, you should be stunned knowing first what the previous rent was, and second what it was increased to.  

As writers, I don't believe we need to do this with every sentence we write.  But I think we have to agree some sentences are more important, more pivotal, than others.  They are the ones we need to pay attention to.  They are the ones we need to put the good stuff last in.